More and more women today are getting technical and professional degrees and rising to a level of success that hasn’t been seen before. But success brings problems that today’s women are surprised to encounter. In a rising trend on the dating scene, successful men are seeking the company of women who are “less intelligent” than they are. Studies such as the ones done by The Pew Research Center, are showing that, “the number of couples that have similar levels of education has dropped from 80 percent in 1960 to nearly 60 percent in 2012.”
Elite Daily writer Lauren Martin reports, “A study conducted with 121 British participants reported findings that females with high intelligence in male/female relationships were seen as problematic.”
1. Men Want to Be the Priority
Successful men don’t necessarily want women that are “dumber” than they are, but ones that are going to focus entirely on their needs. If a woman doesn’t have a career of her own, then she’s more likely to be able to make dinner every night and clean his house. Someone who is willing to stand behind her man rather than taking center stage for herself.
This is also regarded as beneficial for the women, in their eyes. Financial reporter John Carney says on the subject, “dumb chicks have both greater opportunities and greater incentives to try harder to date smart men than smart women do.”
2. Men Don’t Want to be Challenged
Ideally, that special someone in your life should not only be your equal, but in the best cases helps you grow as a person. This behavior from intelligent women of helping their man learn and grow as human beings, is seen as less desirable and too much effort .
While in the same studies as mentioned above, having an intelligent male partner is still highly desirable for women and not “problematic” at all.
3. Intelligence is Emasculating
The type of man that feels this way may also feel so incredibly intimidated by a woman’s intelligence (either greater or equal to his own), that he’ll feel emasculated just talking to them. Intelligence has somehow been equated to masculinity, in arbitrary standards of gender norms. They may realize on an intellectual level that these women are still women, but they’re no longer desirable.
Thus being engaged in debates that make them think, with a woman on the same level, becomes a turn off to this type of guy. The woman, in actuality, may not feel superior in her intelligence at all, but shy and insecure, but just hoping for someone intelligent to talk to.
4. Women Can’t Be Smart and Sexy
This is patently untrue of course. The times should have changed that; we see it every day in our daughters, our friends, even ourselves–we are attractive and intelligent. Yet this particular myth, perpetuated by society and the media and believed by a lot of men, is lingering heavily into our generation as well. According to numerous articles, it’s a naturally occurring phenomena that women in scientific or tech fields not only cannot be seen as sexy, if they’re attractive at all then their male colleagues do not take them seriously.
In the dating arena, it amounts to men simply do not find smart women attractive. The cultural associations that they often have with women (the girlish giggling, flirtatiousness, subservience), are seen as missing in intelligent ladies. Worse yet, in order to fit in during adolescence, young girls are now going to be cautioned to “dumb down” in order to “get a man.” Studies still show (such as Karry Jensen’s report on Metro Parent) that boys continue to outperform girls on tests in Sciences, Technology, Engineering, and Math (STEM). It’s not necessarily due to the lack of interest, but the damaging effect their social peers have of associating those subjects with being “uncool”.
Do women have to lower their standards, and date men less intelligent too, or continue to wait for Mr. Right? Though the same studies are showing that some women are dating below their educational level, not all are. Women in STEM fields, while they are still have trouble finding equal partners, are starting to meet a different type of guy. Men in their fields that do want to engage with them intellectually as well as romantically. Intelligent women shouldn’t have to settle for less, and should avoid the type of guy who can only see them as “problematic” anyway. He’s not the guy for you. Don’t be afraid to wait for that special someone to come along who will stimulate your mind and your body. written by: Christina Queen
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